My Confucius, Then and Now

I was 19 when I first delved into self-improvement (Tony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within got me hooked) and I was 20 when I fell in love with the Far East.

It was at that time that I discovered Confucius. One afternoon I took a book out of the library so I could understand more about his principles and ideas.  I started reading at 9:00 PM, and the next time I looked at the clock it was 4 in the morning...

...And I had to wake up in 3 hours for work.

But I was hooked. I was mesmerized.
Could a person really live up to Confucius' vision of the Perfect Man.
("Perfect", I must make clear, in spirit. The highest level of virtue.)

I filled up 3 pages of a legal pad with notes.
Quotes from his book on virtue, logic and self-control.

As a young man, I was filled with pride and ego. I imagine I still am today. But I was awed by Confucius' ideas about rising above pettiness. About speaking evenly and calmly on any topic. About knowing what you were talking about....dealing only in facts and avoiding judgement of others.

He also spoke about education and the constant pursuit of knowledge. Not just for the sake of education...but in an effort to always ensure you were speaking truth. Being recognized as truthful, according to Confucius, makes one trustworthy.

It didn't matter to me that much of his teaching was a parallel to what he envisioned for the Government itself. What mattered to me was the possibility....just a chance...that I could emulate these traits. That I could even possibility reach SOME degree of his vision of the Perfect Man.

I didn't come close. I was young and I was pulled in many directions...not taking the time to really study any particular discipline and reaching a level of "expertise". But I had a reference point., I had something I could reflect on periodically. I had notes I could re-read at will. I had someone I could refer to when I needed a personification of things like "Calm" and "Virtue".

I never stopped studying self-improvement. I never stopped loving the beauty of mystery of the Far East. Today, the internet has opened me up to a plethora of Self Improvement experts and I can regularly compare and contrasts their views.

But I noticed that while these experts all talk about education and hustle, they don't talk QUITE as much as virtue and truthfulness. This isn't to say that they don't find these attributes to be valuable or important...but we seem to take it for granted today. We seem to assume that "of course" you should be honest. Of course you should have high morals and virtues.

The art of hammering home virtue and truthfulness seems to have been lost in the history and mystery of the Ancient Far East. A place where honor was as important as profit. Where virtue was as important as hustle.

Do the wealthy and driven get a bad rap?  Somewhat, sure. There will always be a population that thinks all wealthy people are criminals and all driven people are selfish and shallow.

I don't think so. I think you can still have both.
Success and Virtues.

Somewhere in my study, I still have those notes, and as I write this I know I'll be digging them out this weekend and reviewing them. 

I Quit Once

I Quit Once

I had a great idea. I was proud of it. I worked on it all the time. I was excited.

Then, bad things happened. I had bad luck. Trusted contacts disappeared. Videos stopped working. People stopped returning calls. Effort to succeed turned out futile.

I got disgusted.

I gave up.

I Quit.

I burned it all to the ground.

I made excuses:  I don’t need this. This wasn’t a good idea. It would never work. No one cares. I’m doing fine without it.

I felt good to be free of my passion project.

At first.

But then, I missed it.

I wondered about it.

I shook my head and moved on.

Then I thought about it again.

And again.

I thought about how it WOULD work.

What I COULD have done.

I cared again.

I hated that I wasted a year doing Nothing.

And most importantly, I remembered that all projects take time to come to fruition. All projects have failures. All projects face potential defeat. And the only ones who succeed are the ones who DON’T quit. Only persevering in hard times leads to success.

I kicked myself

I looked for some support

I found some.

I started again.

This time I won’t quit.

I’ll fall and I’ll fail and I’ll stumble and I’ll get disgusted and I’ll make excuses….but I won’t quit.

And I’ll win.


Follow me on Twitter @Defmall

Daniel Craig's Bond

I finally "get it"...and I hope I'm not too late.

I've been a James Bond fan forever, and I have no problem telling you who/what was great, and what fell short.

Always thought Sean Connery was the quintessential Bond - handsome, snarky and great with the ladies.

I thought Roger Moore's movies were better, but there was too much comedy. Too silly at times.

Pierce Brosnan, who is one of my altogether favorite actors, made what I thought were GREAT Bond movies...and while I liked his films the best I somehow I couldn't bring myself to say he was a better Bond than Connery.

So several years ago, when Daniel Craig was selected as the new James Bond, I was a little wary. And when I saw how they rebooted and stripped down the Bond movies and gave us more brooding and fewer gadgets, I was VERY wary.

THIS is James Bond?
This Bond has no charisma.   Has no sense of self-deprecating humor.

Well, its years later, and as I think about it...I get it.
Daniel Craig IS the James Bond for the new(er) milenium.

He broods for a reason. Because he's serious about his job.
He's saving England...or the world...and he's got to do it without getting killed.
His enemies are lethal, and his lovers are either equally dangerous or in an equal amount of danger.

But his fashion sense, his drink of choice, his poise at the bar....it's all Bond.
He's a tough guy but he keeps his English manners.

He's a great marksman, and he's still a lady killer.
Of course, THIS James Bond is a little rougher. A little edgier.
(In fact, it's understood that Ian Flemming saw James Bond as a callous lover. Seeing Daniel Craig in the role is probably the closest to what Flemming envisioned)

So, here's a toast to you, Daniel Craig.
I know you cannot decide if you like being James Bond or not ... but I like it and I look forward to 1 or two more movies with you in the role.


Follow @Defmall on Twitter 

Reclaiming Excellence

I remember a Marketing class I took in college. We were asked to identify a brand that we felt had "gone stale", and then discuss how we would resurrect it.

My classmates either recoiled in horror or snickered when I said...in all seriousness...that I wanted to resurrect the "Playboy"brand.

My teacher, an attractive woman to begin with, was kind enough to give me an opportunity to explain that I wasn't talking about pornography, or even nudity. Certainly my plan would include continuing with half-dressed female celebrities and naked centerfolds...but I was more concerned with salvaging the brand itself.

When Playboy was at it's peak in the 1960's and 70's, it was (much) more than just a collection of naked pictures. Playboy had established itself as everything the wealthy, single man aspired to be. It covered fashion, accessories, media, travel. It featured interviews with the most popular in show business and/or politics. The fiction was smart, and it regularly featured the fictional detective Mike Hammer: the strong, silent type always won over an attractive (and usually busty) damsel in distress.

And the Rabbit logo that had become a cultural icon at one point, was right away recognized as a sign of something sexy, but not "dirty". It was the mascot of a somewhat secret club. You were either a part of it, or you didn't get it at all.

My contention was that nudity, travel, fashion and media were still relevant...but Playboy as a brand had not aged well. Somehow it went from being best in class to being "that magazine your dad used to read.".  Certainly, free porn and cable television created a different version of "Sexy", but sexy wasn't the problem in my eyes. The problem was that magazine stopped catering to the demographics that most supported it: the 18-35 year old male who cared as much as HIS appearance as he did the appearance of the girls he was looking for.

From athletes, to rappers to actors to multi-millionaires....there were still heroes to emulate, and an audience of young men who could afford to emulate them. I saw a magazine that catered to that crowd, and it talked as much about Jay-Z and Grant Cardone as it did about Jack Nicholson and Donald Trump.

With a sound argument and a truckload of conviction, I won my teacher over and got an "A" on that paper.  The Playboy brand has since gone through a few small pivots and changes, but it's still not the world-recognized symbol of wealth and sexiness I envision it could be. Perhaps, with a few more million dollars and a few partners who have the same vision, I'll one day take it for myself and mold it into model of greatness it once represented....

Follow @Defmall on Twitter